infini
by rbooo
Summary: No matter what you decide to do from now on, we will love you forever. - Team Seven, SasuSaku
1. i: nightmare

infini

No matter what you decide to do from now on, we will love you forever. – Team Seven, SasuSaku.

_This will be a little Team Seven ficlet, no more than four chapters long. Please note there will be spoilers for manga chapters 630 and on. If you're not caught up with the manga… what are you doing? Go read!_

_Standard disclaimer applies. _

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chapter 1: nightmare

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"_Why… are you so weak?"_

_The large hand grasped too tightly against his throat. He desperately struggled to free himself, oh, to get out of that shameful position and wrench his own hands around that neck, to dig his nails into the soft flesh there, to kill, kill, kill –_

"_I want to kill a certain man."_

_But the figure looming over him morphed suddenly. The pressure on his throat lightened, held only by the constrictions his own lungs decided upon._

_Blood. Blood everywhere._

_Crinkled eyes._

_Weak smile held only by years of resolve._

_Two fingers poked his forehead; nostalgia rushed through his body cold, as if his chakra had completely drained._

"_Sorry, Sasuke…"_

_No. No._

"_This is the last time."_

"_No!"_

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His body was freezing cold and paralyzed, sharingan eyes snapped opened and blazing in the darkness of the night. Cold and alone and in the same position he had fallen asleep in.

_Alone._

He sat up slowly, deactivating his kekkai gekkai, and shook his head sadly.

_Not my kekkai gekkai. Not my eyes._

Dark sheets pooled in his lap. Uchiha Sasuke clutched his forehead, which throbbed painfully from the involuntary activation of the sharingan, for who knows how many hours.

The war was over, but the nightmares… they didn't cease.

The throbbing in his head was rivaled only by the dull throbbing in his heart that never seemed to end. Rubbing his hands over his eyes, Sasuke swung his legs over the side of bed in his childhood room and stood up. Screams still seemed to echo off the walls, the wailing of young children and adult alike; the ghosts of his past, of his family would never be set free. As he wandered the hallways of the Uchiha compound's main house, laughter, the _pit-pat_ of running, and the delicious smell of food floated from the kitchen. He arrived in the kitchen, where his brain thought, _water, _had told his feet where to go.

A short, dark haired woman stood at the kitchen sink, back to him. Her hair was impossibly dark, smooth and long, and Sasuke thought to himself, _it looks like mine._

"_Kaa-san."_

She turned around slowly, and Sasuke woke up once again.

_A dream. It was just a dream._

But the slow realization settled upon Sasuke's stomach like a weight. _I can't remember your face, Kaa-san._

Slow tears gently ran down his face.

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The sky was bright and the weather was fair; a warm Konoha spring. The mighty village that had fallen was almost completely rebuilt, and the sound of children running off to the Academy and the re-opening of the market brought a warm feeling to Haruno Sakura.

She stood in her ninja attire on a familiar red bridge, waiting to meet the rest of her team for training. She had always been an early bird. Sakura shifted uncomfortably in her flak vest, the article feeling strange and oddly reminiscent of a time when she wore it every single day. For the war.

But that was over now. The war was over and the village was rebuilt and her team was rebuilt and Kakashi was out of intensive care and Sasuke was back and his sentence was minimal and Team Seven was okay, _dammit, _her team was rebuilt, too.

The warm feeling that previously filled her body escaped her like the wind. Underneath the happy laughter of children she saw the sad silence of others; of parents who no longer had children, who didn't even have bodies to bury.

Ino and Shikamaru came to her mind's eye and there she saw the emptiness in their eyes. She saw children who no longer had parents to come home to. She saw friends whose worlds had crumbled.

The shuffling of clothing approaching her snapped her out of her thoughts, just as she registered the familiar chakra approaching her. She had spent many hours healing and monitoring the chakra of the man coming towards her. She turned to him, just as a flock of birds cried loudly out in the sky – springtime.

_Birds. Chirping._

Panic overwhelmed her as the blood drained from body in a split second. She suddenly snapped her head to him, hard enough for whiplash, and raven hair, and lightning flashing, and _Oh god – Chidori!_

She let out a yelp and raised her arms in a defensive stance, stumbling backwards, losing her footing and she clenched her eyes shut, preparing for the hard wood of the bridge to connect with her tailbone.

But it never came.

A strong arm came behind her back as Sasuke fell into a crouch to catch the startled woman. Sakura slowly opened her eyes at him, face red from embarrassment.

"Sa…" the first syllable of his name fell from her mouth and she couldn't finish the word.

"Sakura?" he questioned, pulling her up to a standing form.

Her face was ablaze. "I – uh, sorry," she muttered unintelligibly. When he chose not to reply, she hesitantly looked up at his face, raven hair framing his lightly tanned faced, and mint hitai-ate shining in the sun dully. If he was unhappy about her reaction, he didn't show it. His eyes were clouded with anxiety, _but wait, _Sakura thought, as she determined that Sasuke's face wasn't the same, that something was off.

_Those aren't his eyes. These aren't the eyes I fell in love with as a child._

The bottomless, soulful onyx eyes were gone. _Those aren't Sasuke-kun's._

The two settled for silence as Naruto came bounding to the bridge, followed closely by Kakashi.

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"Aren't you excited to finally go out on missions again!" Naruto's rambunctious voice came as they all sat for ramen after their training.

Sasuke eyed the blonde from the corner of his eyes as a clap came down on his shoulder. "Of course he is," Kakashi answered for him. Sasuke hummed quietly before bringing the chopsticks up to his lips to eat his ramen.

"Dattebayo!" Naruto fist-pumped. "We need to have as many Team Seven missions before I become Hokage!"

"Dobe." Sasuke muttered under his breath. "I will become Hokage."

Naruto guffawed. "We've been over this, Teme." He slurped up his noodles, broth splashing on the table.

"Naruto, that's disgusting." from beside Naruto, Sakura was slowly packing up her bag before she slid from her seat to the ground. "Sorry I can't stay for lunch," she apologized with a small smile. "I have a surgery in an hour."

"Yare, yare, Sakura," Kakashi looked at her pointedly with his visible eye. "Don't work too hard. You already trained with us this morning, too."

"Yeah, Sakura-chan! You just finished up healing Kakashi-jiji!" he teased, earning a punch from the grey-haired man, who had been in the hospital for five months following the war. He rubbed his arm. "Besides, how are there so many surgeries even though the war has been over for over nine months now?"

Sakura shrugged. "People are still sustaining many injuries and problems because of the war." She shouldered her bag. "Well, I'm off. Ja ne."

The three men watched as the pinkette walked off in the direction of the hospital, brisk and business-like.

"I wonder why Sakura-chan is so quiet lately." Naruto said, more to himself than anything.

Sasuke eyed her disappearing back warily before standing up, himself, setting some ryo down on the table to pay for his bowl.

"I'm leaving."

He left Naruto and Kakashi to their thoughts.

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_If you're by my side, I promise you won't regret it._

_I'll make everyday more enjoyable so you'll be happy._

_I would do anything for you!_

He could hear the tears; hear them in her voice. Panic, desperation - love. Clear, emerald eyes shone at him through the tears.

_Please, Sasuke-kun. I love you._

Birds chirped loudly, lightning flashing all around him.

And then he saw it.

Soft pink hair.

Green eyes that smiled.

And blood running from both sides of her mouth, against alabaster skin.

_No…_

Then it was Itachi, eyes sad.

_Little brother… how could you?_

Then it was her, again.

He looked down at the gaping hole in her chest, his own arm protruding from her chest cavity, lightning still crackling.

_Sasuke-kun. _Her voice was too clear, too strong, too emotional to be dead.

_No. No. No. Sakura –_

She smiled at him, smiled through tears that ran down her face and blood that flowed from her mouth.

_I love you more than anything, Sasuke-kun._

Her eyes fluttered closed, letting out her last breath.

_No!_

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"NO!" he cried as he jolted up from his pained sleep. Sasuke panted, looking desperately around for the pink-haired medic. Reality clashed with his dream world and his sharingan spun wildly, _Pleasedontbedeadpleasedontbedead, _and,_ it's just a dream, don't be ridiculous._

Sasuke brought his hands up to his face and buried it there. He recalled the way she had stumbled away from him today. He knew why. How long could he possibly feel this way, everyday?

Regret. Pain. Loss. Loneliness. Regret, regret, regret.

_I'm so sorry._

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Naruto, Sakura and Kakashi shared a look the next day, after the former had waited an additional two hours for their teacher to show up.

Sasuke wasn't at training this morning. Or the next.

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_And there's the first chapter! This just came to me one day when I woke up suddenly at 4 in the morning and I started looking at images of Itachi and Sasuke. Obviously there will be more to it, so please review and alert! Reviews are love love love, they encourage me a lot. Let me know what you liked and didn't like, or if you enjoyed it or not, or if you're anticipating the next chapter or not!_


	2. ii: repent

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No matter what you decide to do from now on, we will love you forever. – Team Seven, SasuSaku.

_Thanks for the reviews and faves and alerts, everyone!_

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chapter 2: repent

_I wont allow my comrades to die. I'll protect you with my life_.

_Trust me._

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"You can't hide from everyone, you know."

A raven haired man snorted as he continued his stretching within the confines of the training ground three.

"Seems to have been working just fine." Sasuke muttered, switching legs and stretching his muscles some more.

"Well, you can't hide from everyone forever," Kakashi retorted, taking several more steps towards the young Uchiha and falling into a cross legged pose on the grass next to him. "Not when we just got you back." He added under his breath, more to himself than to Sasuke.

"What point is there," Sasuke replied, without missing a beat. "When all I do is traumatize those who are supposed to be my teammates?"

_I love you more than anything, Sasuke-kun._

He squeezed his eyes shut, willing her voice and face and green, green eyes to vanish from his eyes. He rose, walking to the other side of the rugged training ground, turning to glare at his former mentor.

"No one said rebuilding bonds was going to be easy." Kakashi said carefully, rising to his feet and narrowed an eye at his student cautiously.

"And no one fucking said I had to at all." Sasuke retorted before three kunai dropped from his sleeve and he threw it at the silver haired man.

Kakashi pulled out a tanto, deflecting each of the kunai before he charged his sudden training partner. They attacked each other with quick, strong hits before flipping away to their respective sides of the training ground, panting. They were both alike in the same way. Good at taijutsu, but great with ninjutsu.

Sasuke's hands fell into the horse seal, angrily slapping his hands together more forcefully than needed at the same time that Kakashi's fell into the same.

"Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu!" they both said at once, before two great flames surged at each other, flames searing both parties as the explosion erupted into the night sky.

Sasuke squinted into the night before he felt Kakashi rushing to him in the dark. Sharingan blazed alive as he trailed Kakashi with his kekkei genkai, eyes never leaving the copy-nin.

"No one said you had to?" Kakashi questioned, initiating another flurry of kicks and punches at him. Finding a hole in Sasuke's taijutsu combo, he sent the boy flying with a hard kick.

Sasuke flipped mid-air, landing in a crouch. "Who said I wanted to?" he spat, making an ox hand seal where Kakashi could see it, falling into an offensive stance.

Kakashi's eyes narrowed before he also placed his hands into the same seal. "How long are you going to keep lying to yourself, Sasuke?"

"Chidori!"

"Raikiri!"

And the two charged each other.

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Moonlight shone through the window into Sakura's dark office, where she sat reviewing files at her desk. The sun had began to fall later and later, but it seemed that no matter the season, Sakura was in her office working far longer than the sun did.

She huffed slightly, bringing her knee up and crossing one leg under her lap. It didn't matter how many times she read this sentence, it made less and less sense the more she reviewed it.

Tucking a wavy pink whisp of hair, she lined up the four corners of her papers and set them neatly into the top drawer. Outside she heard birds singing lightly into the night. It seemed they weren't having much ease falling asleep either.

She couldn't stop thinking about her team; or rather, the lack of one of their presences.

Not a bird flapped its wings in quick escape nor a cricket chirped in alarm when the masked man of her team appeared on the windowsill to her office. Sakura's heart sped up momentarily before she placed a delicate hand on her chest in surprise.

"Kakashi-sensei," she greeted, silently placating herself. "there's no need to mask your chakra, you know."

Said man cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Kakashi," he corrected, "and I agree. It's just a bad habit."

"I wouldn't necessarily say it's a bad habit. Just a startling one," she said to her former teacher before she continued to put her things away. "So what did you drop by for?"

"I was helping a toad cross the road near here when I felt your chakra still moving about your office," Kakashi replied idly. "So I thought you could use the company on a walk home."

Sakura snorted. "You mean, you thought you should escort me away from my work, right?"

Kakashi scratched the back of his head before he hopped down from the windowsill, standing under the light of her office. "You make me sound like a bad guy when you say it like that."

Sakura gasped when she saw his messy and tattered clothing, skin dusty and hair slightly singed by fire. "Kakashi-sensei! What happened?" she rushed to the man, checking for any injuries. Besides a few bruises and a mild burn, she sighed in relief to find none.

"Rough spar," he supplied.

She smiled, throwing off her doctor's coat and changing into her ninja sandals. "Well, thank you for the heart attack, and I would love to walk with you, Kaka-sensei," Sakura told him affectionately. "Shall we take to the roofs?" she gestured to the window he had come in from. He grinned.

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"Kakashi…" she started, holding her hands behind her back as they continued to walk.

"Mm?" he replied as he turned onto the road to her apartment.

She was silent once more.

"Ah, nevermind."

He nudged her arm as they approached the looming apartment building that housed many other ninja and civilian alike. The night sky swallowed up the roof whole, as there was not a single light on in the building. It seemed the whole village was asleep besides the occasional rustle of a passing guard.

The two leapt up onto a nearby house roof and then onto the balcony that lead to Sakura's apartment, landing deftly on the rails. Hopping onto the balcony, she bit her finger and placed it the door and released the seal into her house. As was the life of the apprentice of the Godaime.

She let Kakashi in first before she shuffled in behind him and closed the door behind her. "Tea?" she asked quietly, turning on the lights.

Kakashi shook his head even though she couldn't see him. "No, thank you." He took a seat on her couch, stretching his arms.

Sakura's shoulders slumped as she looked back at her former sensei. He raised a brow at her.

"Sensei…" she began hesitantly, walking to him slowly before sitting next to him. She stared at her lap. "The other day, before Sasuke stopped… stopped coming to training…"

"Yes?" he urged her on, unconsciously running a hand through his messy hair.

She took a breath. Why was she acting like an unsure girl rather than the confident young woman she had become?

"I think I might be the reason why he's avoiding us. Or I might be who he's avoiding altogether."

Kakashi frowned. "Why would he do that?"

Sakura exhaled in frustration. "He sort of… startled me. I mean, well, not really. But I felt his chakra coming from behind me, just as he was meeting for training at the bridge, and there were these birds that were just being _so loud, _just chirping, and I…." she rambled, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. She took a deep breath. "He scared me and it… it reminded me of that time… and I yelped and fell over… and…"

Kakashi sighed sadly, placing a gloved hand on her shoulder to calm her gently.

"It's not your fault, Sakura."

She whimpered slightly, tears threatening to fall out of her eyes. All the pent up frustration and anxiety had been eating away at her since the last time she saw Sasuke. "It is!" she protested.

"It's not," Kakashi affirmed. "Sasuke… is feeling guilty." he informed her, recognizing the deep spike of guilt and sadness that blossomed in his own chest at the memory of the other medic in his heart.

She half-scoffed.

"Guilty for me betraying him."

Kakashi sighed lightly, feeling very much the mentor who let his team fall apart. He moved to place his hand on a rosy head. She leaned into his palm, grateful for the warmth.

It seemed nothing she did or anything anyone told her would quell her heart.

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Sasuke found himself in darkness, once again, laying on his back in his bedroom and staring up at the ceiling. There was a dull ache on his right shoulder where he had been burned and a patch near his collarbone where he had almost been electrocuted by Kakashi's _raikiri._

He wished the physical pain from his spar with Kakashi was enough to distract him from the conflicting feelings in his mind that he had to deal with.

He wished his life didn't turn out like this.

He wished his brother had spared him the pain of this life and let him –

Sasuke squeezed his hands shut hard enough for his blunt nails to pierce his skin and he howled in anger.

He let his team down all the time, from his actions, to his traitorous thoughts.

The chirping of birds overwhelmed his senses as he remembered the dust settling after _raikiri _and _chidori _had collided; student against sensei.

"_You say all these things and you continuously push us away after all these years," _Kakashi's voice came to him, a strong hand on his shoulder. _"If you claim to not want to rebuild these bonds, then why did you come back?"_

And then Kakashi left him.

_What bonds do I have left?_

Sasuke flipped onto his uninjured side, his eyes catching a picture frame that had been put there by Naruto, the side glinting in the moonlight. Obscured from view was his younger self, and glowing in the moonlight was a scowling Naruto, a nervous Kakashi, and a smiling Sakura.

Smiling.

_All I do is hurt them. Everyone precious to me dies in some way._

He squeezed his eyes shut, willing the photo to disappear, willing himself to disappear.

In the darkness, he heard his eternal rival's voice.

_I will shoulder your hatred and die with you, because I am your friend._

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_Cookie to whoever knows who spoke that quote at the beginning._

_Sakura/Kakashi/Sasuke/Team 7 development chapter. SasuSaku is coming!_

_Please review._


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